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It wasn't even past eight when she ran into her room. She didn't bother and change her clothes as she simply slid under the covers. She cocooned  herself in her bed hurriedly, unable to hold back the smile that crept up her face. She knew that she had acquired a new set of dreams this evening. Dreams that will be haunting her for a very long time. 

She'd banished every other memory on her way home. This one dream was so majestic it seemed unfit to share anything with it. She feared a picture of her precious moment would seep through the smile she couldn't hide and someone would catch it and drag her back into the dull silent world. 

It was a kiss that lasted seconds, but in her head it was a cinematic that went on for hours. Her heart pounded so viciously to the point she thought the sound alone could fill the entire world around her. She recalled her kiss, a blush creeping on her cheeks. 

She closed her eyes tightly as she stirred in bed. Maybe her dream will go on if she goes to sleep. She tried so hard but failed. The pounding was getting louder with each passing minute. She almost thought the neighbors would complain about the noise, or maybe her mother will start questioning her sudden rush to her room. 

She glanced at herself in the mirror. She was beautiful, yet her beauty felt different today. Another smile crossed her lips, but she moved away from her reflection. It may reveal her secret. True her mirror was her best friend, but even her mirror couldn't share her dream, not today at least. She opened the door and went out to her family. She joined them in silence, and pretended not to care as she distracted herself with the voices from television though she couldn't understand a single word of what was being said. Her mind was at a stand still. It refused to take one step further. 

Everyone else fell asleep. Her body was exhausted and drained by then, though her soul had only awakened hours ago, and still soared in the memories. She'd chosen to stay awake till her spirit comes down again and settle within her body. Yet she couldn't take it any longer as she grabbed her phone. She enjoyed the tone the numbers gave as she tapped them hurriedly and bit her lip as it rang on the other side before his voice came through. 

"Hey love,"

"Say it again!"

She heard him chuckle before the word formed through his lips over and over again. 

"Love, love, love, till the world stands still love,"


and then there it was, just when she least expected it. it was raining hard that day and he held the umbrella over their heads. they walked through the park, watching the people flee the downpour, running to catch the last bus of the day, she tried to go too, but he held her pulling her against his chest and softly claimed her lips. 

Edit Sep 20, 2013


:iconttbloodlusttt: you wonderful, amazing lady thank you so much for suggesting this. i am smiling like an idiot right now

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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-09-20
Suggester says The First Kiss by =SolidMars "encompasses that first fleeting fixation of bubbly, young love. The wind swept emotion of that first kiss and where it takes us seems to be embraced with honesty" and I couldn't agree more. ( Suggested by ttbloodlusttt and Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconsangel8:
SAngel8 Featured By Owner 18 hours ago  New member
Absolutely amazin, beautiful, and inspiring.
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner 18 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconthankyousignplz:
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:iconsangel8:
SAngel8 Featured By Owner 17 hours ago  New member
*smiles* You're welcome.
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:iconantimach:
AntiMach Featured By Owner Edited Mar 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it's about time I gave you a proper review, as you have been kind enough to do so for me.

I like the transition of senses, particularly this sentence: "She'd banished every other memory on her way home. This one dream was so majestic it seemed unfit to share anything with it. She feared a picture of her precious moment would seep through the smile she couldn't hide and someone would catch it and drag her back into the dull silent world."

You very much succeeded in capturing a warmth that most of us, hopefully, are familiar with.

Now, a few quick things. You had a bit of narrative displacement in these sentences: "She closed her eyes tightly as she stirred in bed. Maybe her dream will go on if she goes to sleep." The first sentence fit with the preterite narrative you began with. The second seemed more like a commentary. Not a deal-breaker, but a distraction.

"She glanced at herself in the mirror." At first I thought you had transitioned into a dream (as you had alluded to before), so the sudden shift of scenery didn't bother me at first. However, in my head, she was cozy in her bed to suddenly standing in front of a mirror. Again, a little jarring, but not a deal-breaker.

Aside from that, I think I've certainly had that cozy but hot-blooded feeling you described, and this was a nice literary treat. Congrats on the DD!
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you o'great master i really appreciate it. it means a lot to me you took the time to read it :heart:
thank you, i've been being lazy about it, knew it needs a lot of editing but eh lol yes i am that lame. i'll be certainly taking those in consideration once i get off my lazy ass (been playing dying light >.> too much dying light <.< ) 

how ya been btw?
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:iconantimach:
AntiMach Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
It wasn't lame. It invoked something in me, and that is not lame. I just pointed out what could be improved by a subjective view. A story does not have to be a technical masterpiece to be appreciated: if a story is good, people will still read it. A beautifully written bad story is still a bad story, and no editing can fix that. Yours was not a bad story!

As for me...very up and very down. Going to have to self-publish my novel without an editor, as an attorney couldn't even get him to finish the damn thing. I draw a certain strength from it, even if the source is bitter at best. I'm improving, just not on the best of soil, if that makes sense. How about you?
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
i know, was saying i am lame for gaming 24/7 xD

honestly Mach, i don't think you need an editor. you write some of the best stories out there. so go rock the world man, i am sure you'll be a best seller. 

meh, no power, no nothing, civil war getting worse, you know the usual. college and shit, but i am writing again so i have that going for me. 
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:iconantimach:
AntiMach Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah...Guild Wars 2 and Diablo 3 takes more time from me than I should give...

As for the editor thing, I wanted a pair of objective eyes to bring it up to snuff, but after the bullshit-fest this editor put me through, I'm not going to bother. I'd love to have an editor - who does his or her job - so I can guarantee a great story for people, but it seems like it's not worth it, especially with how much I've progressed already. Thanks for the compliment. My novel, Dragon Days, will be reedited by me once I finish this writing commission.

I'm glad that there is some semblance of peace where you are. It sounds terrifying. I'm glad you're still excelling despite that.
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
yep. and i got civilization V recently, that shit takes forever :dummy:

maybe, maybe not, i still think you do great on your own :p

yeah, posted my most precious story yesterday, extremely proud of it so still happy 
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:iconantimach:
AntiMach Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll need to give it a gander at some point, even though the only writing I tend to read nowadays is either my own or Cracked.com. Been getting a bit tunnel-visioned at times. Last year and this year has been cray-cray, though I think this year will prove to be happier: I will be making an important goal happen, so I'm happy about that.

The editor thing was more about quality control, but if I have to deal with dipshits who can't follow through, then I'm better off doing it myself. Plus, I have an editing guide already, so it's not like I don't have resources. *Shrug*

I don't play many strategy games myself, though I've seen them, and they certainly have some entertaining merits. Guild Wars 2 PVP fucks with my head...I'm getting called a 'bot' in one game and getting my ass kicked in another. Bizarre.
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
been writing poetry.
yes. poetry. and seems i am good at it. kinda sucks though because you remember my prose days, i had so much fun with that. so i am glad to be getting back to it. 

and yes, getting published is awesome, if i can manage to get it i will. 

some people should be kicked so hard and sent to the moon. 

me either, i don't like strategy much but everyone kept going civilization civilization (honestly i still don't know if i like it, or hate it so much to a painful level. but on a bright side i know queen elizabeth's last name now lol)
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:iconsuihowl:
Suihowl Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is so beautiful... ; - ;
really, you made an amazing job, is so short and impressive at the same time.
Although English isn't my native language, I can feel the text, language wasn't a barrier. : )
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much, i am glad you enjoyed it 
it's one of my favorite pieces as well 
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:iconsuihowl:
Suihowl Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome, it's really good ! :D
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:icondoveangel8:
DoveAngel8 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww so sweet
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
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:icondoveangel8:
DoveAngel8 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
<3
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:icondoveangel8:
DoveAngel8 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
<3
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:iconblack-b-o-x:
Black-B-o-x Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014
Omgh!  Wow! This is so lovely Love 
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconthankyousignplz:
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:iconlolita-artz:
Lolita-Artz Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
aw its so sweet!!! :heart:
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconthankyousignplz:
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:iconlolita-artz:
Lolita-Artz Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome :) i'm watching you to see more! :D i invite you to watch me back if you like my art :)
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:iconkathrinholzreiter:
kathrinholzreiter Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
a master of words.

First I was just coming by on you Profil to thanks for a fave, but than I started reading this and I was really speachless. Its simple written, but so beautiful. Sometimes I have a problem with reading a english text but here I hadn't to search for any word. This text is like a small movie for the head and it deserves to be a Daily Deviation. thank you for writing this :)
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you, i prefer simple english to fancy words. both can carry the same meaning :)
i'm glad you liked it
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:iconkathrinholzreiter:
kathrinholzreiter Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
true thing =) you are welcome!
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:icongeraldinejane:
Geraldinejane Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
Lovely written piece!:)
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :)
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:iconfeliolmedo:
feliolmedo Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Student General Artist
I smiled my way through it. SO lovely. Loved it. Congrats! :)
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :) it's one of my favorite pieces too :heart:
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:iconmichellemunoz:
MichelleMunoz Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014
wow. <3
HEY! a DD on my birthday last year haha
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :iconbackhug:
happy belated birthday :lol:
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:iconmichellemunoz:
MichelleMunoz Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014
Haha! Thanks! :)
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :huggle:

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:iconally-redtulip:
Ally-RedTulip Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats for the DD! :D I really loved this writing.
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :iconbackhug:
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:iconally-redtulip:
Ally-RedTulip Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome!
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:iconlior-art:
Lior-Art Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
A well deserved DD :iconsomehugsplz:
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :iconbackhug:
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:iconsatans-stunt-double:
satans-stunt-double Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
Very, very, beautiful!!! I remember my first "real" kiss just as much!! Thanks for bringing back that moment!!!
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:iconsatans-stunt-double:
satans-stunt-double Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013
I still am flooded with beautiful memories and visions over this! I can't thank you enuff for posting such beauty at this terrible time of year!! Bless you!
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you, the first kiss is always something to remember :heart: glad i could stir some beautiful memories :iconbackhug:
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:iconsatans-stunt-double:
satans-stunt-double Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013
I thank you very much! You improved my day! :)
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :huggle:

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:iconwhite-eagless:
White-Eagless Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student General Artist
sovery cute
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :iconbackhug:
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:iconwhite-eagless:
White-Eagless Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student General Artist
your welcome
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:iconl1lbeauty:
l1lbeauty Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is beautiful and the little thinggies running around on the bottom of the screen thats so cute :D 
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:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :heart: :iconbackhug:
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:iconrosescarlet:
RoseScarlet Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student Writer
THIS BEAUTIFUL THING THIS BEAUTIFUL OMG
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